Coming out of a painful, traumatizing relationship or end thereof really screws up how you approach the possibility of something new, exciting and potentially life changing, relationally. Everybody goes through these times, and it’s important to take inventory of what you have learned and how you have changed because of your life experience. Calling it a “tragedy” is inappropriate, and reeks of self pity. It happened, okay, but what’s next?
And then you find your next who or what and it becomes easy to get quite flustered simply tying to figure out how to make this next experience less, well, traumatizing, painful so that if it should come to pass that things weren’t meant to be as they have become, it’s easier to accept, bounce back, move on.
Resilience: the goal.
But is anticipating failure the kindling for a conflagration of self-fulfilling prophecy? How do you keep from being so jaded that when something good comes along, you can recognize it, and allow it to develop in your life? How do you go in with enough armor to protect yourself, enough skills to soften the blow while leaving yourself vulnerable enough to be open, beautiful, and shine in all your glory as the amazing person you are? Or do you want to shine in all your glory, but instead let little bits slip out bit by bit as if it were a secret to be discovered? Where do you place the chinks in the armor? And how in the hell do you accomplish all that?
Who calls whom when? Cat or mouse? Aloof or interested? What game do you play, if there is in fact a game to be played at all? Why must there be a game? Is there anything better out there than rhetorical lines of questioning?